The 4 Agreements – Excellent!


When I look at how we all re-act differently in similar circumstances …  When I observe that one person is devastated if they have been retrenched …  While another person reframes the situation and goes out – without excuses – and starts building a new life …
When I observe the animosity that builds between people in a team … When I see another team working together happily and believing in the T.E.A.M. (Together Everyone Achieves More) spirit …
When I see one person heavily into a religion and another not so … but both struggling in personal relationships, etc – over and over again I see their beliefs and self esteem and self-image being shown to the world.
Some years ago I was running courses on Self-Image and without going into psychology – I believe that the following material by Don Miguel Ruiz is still one of the simplest and most profound works out there to assist individuals in realising who they are and gives them the ability to step back and either reframe their emotions around a situation or laugh at their reactions to that situation.
I highly recommend that you buy this book if you are interested in any form of self-esteem and self-image improvement. The following are notes made from the book followed at the end by exercises that will help you to do a lot of self searching.

29th  April 2004

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

(Note these teachings are based on Toltec wisdom, from Mexico, that have been passed down from generation to generation via their naguals (masters).  Don Miguel Ruiz, was born into a family of healers – raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and a naguals (shaman)grandfather.  As the youngest of thirteen children, he was chosen to carry forward the family’s centuries old legacy of healing and teaching.  Instead, distracted by modern life, Miguel chose to attend medical school and become a surgeon.   A near-death experience changed his life.  Late one night in the early 1970’s, he awoke suddenly, having fallen asleep at the wheel of his car.  At that instant the car careened into a wall of concrete.  Miguel remembers that he was not in his physical body as he pulled his two friends to safety.   Stunned by the experience, he began an intensive practice of self-inquiry.  He devoted himself to the mastery of the ancient ancestral wisdom, studying earnestly with his mother, and completing an apprenticeship with a powerful shaman in the Mexican desert.  His grandfather, who had since passed on, continued to teach him in his dreams.  Miguel is a nagualsfrom the Eagle Knight lineage, and has dedicated his life to sharing the wisdom of the ancient Toltec.   Toltec knowledge arises from the same essential unity of truth as all the sacred esoteric traditions found around the world.  Though it is NOT a religion, it honours all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth.  While it does embrace spirit, it is most accurately described as a way of life, distinguished by the ready accessibility of happiness and love.)

Summary:

Be impeccable with your word. 
Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.   Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t take anything personally. 
Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t make assumptions. 
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always do your best. 
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

…  We are searching for justice because in the belief system we have, there is no justice.  We search for beauty because it doesn’t matter how beautiful a person is, we don’t believe that person has beauty.  (Lin:  Is this the same for wealth and love and acceptance?)

…  During the process of domestication, we form an image of what perfection is in order to try to be good enough.  We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody.  We especially try to please the ones who love us, like Mom and Dad …  Trying to be good enough for them we create an image of perfection, but we don’t fit this image.  We create this image, but this image is not real.  We are never going to be perfect from this point of view.  Never!

…  Not being perfect, we reject ourselves.  And the level of self-rejection depends upon how effective the adults were in breaking our integrity.  After domestication it is no longer about being good enough for anybody else.  We are not good enough for ourselves because we don’t fit with our own image of perfection.  We cannot forgive ourselves for not being what we wish to be, or rather what we believe we should be.  We cannot forgive ourselves for not being perfect.  …  Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be.  Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system that make us do this.  …  The way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed.

…  In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.  And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else.  If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person.  But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.  …  If you abuse yourself very badly, you can even tolerate someone who beats you up, humiliates you, and treats you like dirt.  Why?  Because in your belief system you say,  “I deserve it.  This person is doing me a favour by being with me.  I’m not worthy of love and respect.  I’m not good enough.”  …  We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.  The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse.  Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal.  Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves, it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are.

…  The most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself.  In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.

                …  If we can see it is our agreements (Lin: Beliefs) which rule our life, and we don’t like the dream of our life, we need to change the agreements.

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

Chapter 1 – Domestication and the Dream of the Planet.

He talks about how we have been “domesticated” just the same as animals – it is all the conditioning we take on board, according to the requirements of those around us.  Basically we are rewarded with “good boy/girl” when we do what others want of us, as we are growing up; and when we do not do what they want from us – we are punished in some way – even if it is verbal.  So we start changing who we really are to comply with others requirements.

…  The outside dream has so many rules that when a new human is born, we hook the child’s attention and introduce these rules into his or her mind.  The outside dream uses Mom and Dad, the schools, and religion to teach us HOW to dream.  (Lin: – the conditioning.)

…  Attention is the ability we have to discriminate AND to focus only on that which we want o perceive.  …  By using our attention we learned a whole reality, a whole dream.  We learned how to behave in society: what to believe and what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is beautiful and what is ugly; what is right and what is wrong.

…  Language is the code for understanding and communication between humans.  Every letter, every word in each language is an agreement.  We call this a page in a book; the word “page” is an agreement that we understand.  Once we understand the code, our attention is hooked and the energy is transferred from one person to another.

…  As children, we didn’t have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, but we AGREED with the information that was passed to us from the dream of the planet via other humans.  The only way to store information is by agreement.  The outside dream may hook our attention, but if we don’t agree, we don’t store that information.  As soon as we agree, we BELIEVE it, and this is called FAITH.  TO HAVE FAITH IS TO BELIEVE UNCONDITIONALLY.  …  That’s how we learn as children.  Children believe everything adults say.  We agree with them, and our faith is so strong that the belief system controls our whole dream of life.  We didn’t choose these beliefs, and we may have rebelled against them, but we were not strong enough to win the rebellion.  The result is surrender to the beliefs with our AGREEMENT.

… When we went against the rules we were punished; when we went along with the rules we got a reward.  We were punished many times a day, and we were also rewarded many times a day.  Soon we became afraid of being punished and also afraid of not receiving the reward.  The reward is the ATTENTION that we got from our parent or from other people  …  We soon developed a need to hook other people’s attention in order to get the reward.

The reward feels good, and we keep doing what others want us to do in order to get the reward.  With that fear of being punished and that fear of not getting the reward, we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else.  …  We pretend to be what we are not because we are afraid of being rejected.  THE FEAR OF BEING REJECTED BECOMES THE FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH.

…  when we are old enough for our mind to understand, we learn the word NO.  The adults say, “Don’t do this and don’t do that.”  We rebel and say “No!”  We rebel because we are defending our freedom.    We want to be ourself, but we are very little, and the adults are big and strong.  After a certain time we are afraid because we know that every time we do something wrong we are going to be punished.

…  This belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.  Without question, whatever is in that Book of Law, is our truth.  We base all of our judgements according to the Book of Law.  …  There is something in our minds that judges everybody and everything, including the weather, the dog, the cat – EVERYTHING.  The inner Judge uses what is in our Book of Law to judge everything we do and don’t do, everything we think and don’t think, and everything we feel and don’t feel.  Everything lives under the tyranny of this Judge.  Every time we do something that goes against the Book of Law, the Judge say we are guilty, we need to be punished, we should be ashamed.  This happens many times a day, day after day, for all the years of our lives.

…  There is another part of us that receives the judgements, and this part is called the Victim.  The Victim carries the blame, the guilt, and the shame.  It is the part of us that says,  “Poor me, I’m not good enough.  I’m not intelligent enough, I’m not attractive enough.  I’m not worthy of …  The big Judge agrees and says, “Yes, you are not good enough.”  (And this is all based on a belief system that we never chose to believe!!!!!)  These beliefs are so strong, that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives.

…  Whatever goes against the Book of Law will make you feel a funny sensation in your solar plexus, and it’s called FEAR.  Breaking the rules in the Book of Law opens your emotional wounds, and your reaction is to create emotional poison.

…  The Judge decrees, and the Victim suffers the guilt and punishment.  But who says there is justice in this dream?  True justice is paying only once for each mistake.  True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake.  …  How many times do we pay for one mistake?  The answer is thousands of times.  …  We have a powerful memory.  We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves.  If justice exists, then that was enough; we don’t need to do it again.  But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.

…  If we look at human society we see a place so difficult to live in because it is ruled by FEAR.  Throughout the world we see human suffering, anger, revenge, addictions, violence in the street, and tremendous injustice.  It may exist at different levels in different countries around the world, but FEAR IS CONTROLLING THE OUTSIDE DREAM.

…  We are searching for justice because in the belief system we have, there is no justice.  We search for beauty because it doesn’t matter how beautiful a person is, we don’t believe that person has beauty.  (Lin:  Is this the same for wealth and love and acceptance?)

…  During the process of domestication, we form an image of what perfection is in order to try to be good enough.  We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody.  We especially try to please the ones who love us, like Mom and Dad …  Trying to be good enough for them we create an image of perfection, but we don’t fit this image.  We create this image, but this image is not real.  We are never going to be perfect from this point of view.  Never!

…  Not being perfect, we reject ourselves.  And the level of self-rejection depends upon how effective the adults were in breaking our integrity.  After domestication it is no longer about being good enough for anybody else.  We are not good enough for ourselves because we don’t fit with our own image of perfection.  We cannot forgive ourselves for not being what we wish to be, or rather what we believe we should be.  We cannot forgive ourselves for not being perfect.  …  Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be.  Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system that make us do this.  …  The way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed.

…  In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.  And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else.  If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person.  But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.  …  If you abuse yourself very badly, you can even tolerate someone who beats you up, humiliates you, and treats you like dirt.  Why?  Because in your belief system you say,  “I deserve it.  This person is doing me a favour by being with me.  I’m not worthy of love and respect.  I’m not good enough.”  …  We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.  The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse.  Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal.  Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves, it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are.

…  The most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself.  In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.

                …  If we can see it is our agreements (Lin: Beliefs) which rule our life, and we don’t like the dream of our life, we need to change the agreements.

 

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

Chapter 2 – Be Impeccable with Your Word.

…  The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honour.  It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth.

…  Why your word?  Your word is the power that you have to create.  (Lin: Self-fulfilling prophecy!)  Through your word you express your creative power.  It is through the word that you manifest everything.  Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word.  What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word.  …  The word is not just a sound or a written symbol.  The word is a force …  The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic.  …  But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.

…  All the magic you possess is based on your word.  Your word is pure magic, and misuse of your word is black magic.  …  The word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people.  (Lin:  Look how Hitler used his word, and look how Gandhi used his word, look how Mother Teresa used her word, and how Winston Churchill used his word, look how Jack Kennedy used his word).

…  The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted.  The seeds are opinions, ideas and concepts.  You plant a seed, a thought and it grows.  …  One word is like a spell, and humans use the word like black magicians, thoughtlessly putting spells on each other.  (Lin:  Arthur – You can’t sing!)  …  Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell.  (Lin:  Example – It is so hard to sell to so and so!)  (Lin: Example of how we wrote on the receptionist’s mind!)

…  Impeccability means “without sin”.  Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means “sin”.  The im in impeccable means “without”, so impeccable means “without sin”.  Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let’s understand what it really means to sin.  A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself.  Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin.  You go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything.  Being without sin is exactly the opposite.  …  Sin begins with rejection of yourself.  Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit.  In religious terms self-rejection is a “mortal sin,” which leads to death.  Impeccability, on the other hand leads to life.

…  Mostly we use the word to spread our personal poison – to express anger, jealousy, envy and hate.  The word is pure magic – the most powerful gift we have as humans – and we use it against ourselves.  …  We talk to ourselves constantly and most of the time we say things like,  “Oh, I look fat, I look ugly.  I’m getting old, I’m losing my hair, I’m stupid, I never understand anything.  I will never be good enough, and I’m never going to be perfect.”

…  Remember your opinion is nothing more than your own point of view.  It is not necessarily true.

…  Impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you.  You will only receive a negative idea if your mind is fertile ground for that idea.

…  Use white magic, beginning with yourself.  Tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are.  Tell yourself how much you love yourself.  Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer.  (Lin: Example with cleaning the sponges!)

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

 Chapter 3 – Don’t take anything Personally.

…  Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally.  Using an earlier example, if I see you on the street and I say, “Hey, you are so stupid,” without knowing you, it’s not about you, it’s about me.  If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid.  …  You take it personally because you AGREE with whatever was said.  As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.  What causes you to be trapped is what we call PERSONAL IMPORTANCE.  Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”.  During the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally.  We think we are responsible for everything.  Me, me, me, always me!

…  Nothing other people do is because of you.  It is because of themselves.  All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.  When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.  …  even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.  What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own mind.

…  You may even tell me,  “Miguel, what you are saying is hurting me.”  But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said.  YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF.  THERE IS NO WAY THAT I CAN TAKE THAT PERSONALLY.  …  If  you get mad at me, I know you are dealing with yourself.  I am the excuse for you to get mad.  And you get mad because you are afraid, because you are dealing with fear.

…  Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.  If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you.  You know you are wonderful.  It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.  Don’t take anything  personally.

…  Even the opinions you have of yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.  (Lin:  Liz’s Is that true?)

                …  Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you lie to yourself.  Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.  You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.  …  Even if others lie to you, it is okay.  They are lying to you because they are afraid.

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

 Chapter 4 – Don’t Make Assumptions.

…  We have the tendency to make assumptions about EVERYTHING.  The problem with assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.  We could swear they are real.  We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word.  That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems.  …  It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.

…  It is very interesting how the human mind works.  We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe.  …  It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe.

…  These assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously most of the time because we have agreements to communicate this way.  We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel.  When we believe something we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position.

…  We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way WE do.  We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse.  This is the biggest assumption that humans make.  And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others.  Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimise us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves.  So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves.

…  Often when you go into a relationship with someone you like, you have to justify why you like that person.  You only see what you want to see and you deny there are things you don’t like about that person.  You lie to yourself just to make yourself right.  Then you make assumptions, and one of the assumptions is “My love will change this person.”  But this is not true.  Your love will not change anybody.   If others change, it’s because they want to change, not because you can change them.  Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt.  Suddenly you see what you didn’t want to see before, only now it is amplified by your emotional poison.  Now you have to justify your emotional pain and blame them for your choices.  …  Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.  If we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them.  …  If you love me the way I am, “Okay, take me.”  If you don’t love me the way I am, “Okay, bye-bye.  Find someone else.”

…  The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions.  Make sure the communication is clear.  If you don’t understand, ask.  Have the courage to ask questions until you are clear as you can be, and even then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation.

Taken from the Book The Four Agreements  (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)  by Don Miguel Ruiz  (1997).

 Chapter 5 – Always do Your Best.

…  Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less.  But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next.  Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.  When you wake up refreshed and energised in the morning, your best will be better than when you are tired at night.  …  If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough.

…  Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely.  You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself.  …  Doing your best is taking the action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward.  Most people do exactly the opposite:  They only take action when they expect a reward, and they don’t enjoy the action.  …  For example, most people go to work every day just thinking of payday, and the money they will get from the work they are doing.  They can hardly wait for Friday or Saturday, whatever day they receive their money and can take time off.  They are working for the reward, and as a result they resist work.  They try to avoid the action and it becomes more difficult, and they don’t do their best.

…  When you do your best, you don’t give the Judge the opportunity to find you guilty or to blame you.    If you have done your best and the Judge tries to judge you according to your Book of Laws, you’ve got the answer:  “I did my best.”  There are no regrets.  That is why we always do our best.  …  You do your best because you WANT to do it, not because you have to do it, not because you are trying to please the Judge, and not because you are trying to please other people.

Adapted  from The Four Agreements – Companion Book (2000) by Don Miguel Ruiz

Mastering awareness of The Image of Perfection.  

Are you aware of all the distorted images you have about yourself?   What are the images that others projected onto you as a child?  What did you agree to believe about yourself?

Try to recall your earliest memories of what your mother, father, and closest family members told you about yourself.  Then consider what other people outside your family projected onto you – friends, teachers, and other people who may have influenced you.

Pay attention to your emotional response to each question.  Which agreements come from fear, and which ones come from love?

1.          What were the images that others projected onto you?

When I was a child, I was told by my mother that I was …..
When I was a child, I was told by my father that I was …..
When I was a child, I was told by my brother and/or sisters that I was …..
When I was a child, I was told by my teachers that I was ….
When I was a child, I was told by anyone else that I was in contact with that I was …..

2.         What limitations were you told you have?

I was told that my limitations were …….

3.         When you were a child, what were you told about other people?

In what manner were you told to behave, when meeting strangers …..
What was the story in your family about trusting outsiders …
What was the story in your family about the use of phones …..
What was the story in your family about getting an education …..
What was the story in your family about getting a job …..
What was the story in your family about the “right” profession for you …..

4.         When you were a child, what did others tell you about what it means to be a girl or boy?

I was told that girls should always …..
I was told that boys should always …..
Did you fit the ideal image of what it meant to be a girl or boy?

5.         What do you believe today about being a woman or a man?

I believe that a woman should always …..
I believe that a man should always …..

6.         Make a list of all the qualities you were told you should have, both personal and physical.

I was told that I should be ……

7.         Make a list of all the qualities you believe you have …..

I was told that I should be …..

8.         Make a list of all the qualities you believe other people think you have.

I believe that others think I am …..

9.         Make a list of all the qualities you lack, but wish you had.

I wish I could be like this …..

10.       Describe your image of perfection.  What would you look like?  What type of personality would you have?

My image of perfection is……

11.        What would you have to change about yourself to live up to this image?

To achieve my image of perfection, I would have to …..

12.        Are you willing or able to make these changes?  Why or why not?

13.        Is it humanly possible for you to attain this image of perfection?  Why or why not?

14.       Does your image of perfection inspire you to do your best, or does it merely discourage you?

15.        What is your image of perfection for other people in your life?

My image of perfection for my partner is ……
My image of perfection for my child is …..
My image of perfection for my parents is …..
My image of perfection for my best friend is …..
My image of perfection for my co-workers is …..
My image of perfection for my boss is …..
My image of perfection for my client is …..
My image of perfection for my staff is …..

16.       What social masks do you wear around others?

My social masks around my friends are …..
My social masks around my co-workers are …..
My social masks around my boss are …..
My social masks around my customers are …..

17.        Do you wear these masks because you are afraid of other people’s judgements?

I wear these masks because …..

18.       What would happen if you took the masks off?

If I take the masks off …..

19.       What would it be like to express who you really are?

If I expressed who I really am …..

20.       What was I told, or came to believe about my personal appearance?
What was I told, or came to believe about my personality?
What was I told, or came to believe about being married?
What was I told, or came to believe about having children?
What was I told, or came to believe about making money?
What was I told, or came to believe about being successful?
What was I told, or came to believe about my religion and my spirituality?
What was I told, or came to believe about my job and profession?

21.        Consider how you were domesticated as a very young child.

How did other people hook your attention?
How were you rewarded?
How were you punished?
What did you do to hook the attention of other people?
What did you do to avoid being punished?
What did you do to get the reward?

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One thought on “The 4 Agreements – Excellent!

  1. Thank you, great stuff

    The reallty is with, self reformation.
    ‘ he who do not change, will remain the same’

    enjoy life

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